it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
