yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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