the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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