Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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