JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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