hell yes lets make some ravioli
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
