He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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