I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
