I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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