you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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