Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We named our party play list daddy issues
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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