vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize