take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
