I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize