Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
