I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he puts the penis in happiness.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize