No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
