im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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