By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
