I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
