Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
