saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
