umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
