how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
