don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
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