she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
