On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
