I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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