So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Randomize
