Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
