fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
