omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
