also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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