Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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