just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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