I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we made out on top of his cat.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
