she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
