So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
