I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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