is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
