As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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