I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
third nipple confirmed
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
