Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
