I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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