I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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