Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
