you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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