and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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