Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
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