He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I deserve this hangover.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
