I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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