There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize