Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
and she was petting her beer can
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
