She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
