U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
