I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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