she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
