Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Pants are for mortals
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
