that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
