covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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