Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize