I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
