dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
